The 'Friday' Joke Thread

[kmb]

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?
'No,' she replies




Wait for it. It's coming. The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

She says:




'You just happened to catch my eye.'





It's OK I will be collecting my coat on the way out

[Pam]

Here's an interesting dilemma; how would you react?

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you
will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.





THE SITUATION:


You are in England , York to be specific


There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.


This is a flood of biblical proportions.


You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught
in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people
swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.


Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.






THE TEST:


Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying
not to be taken down with the debris.


You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar... You suddenly realize
who it is... It's Gordon Brown!


You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You
have two options:


You can save the life of Gordon Brown or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer
Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most
powerful men!











THE QUESTION:


Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...


Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic
simplicity of black and white?

[Clive]

That's a tricky one, Pam. Particularly when you are trying to throw a brick at the same time.

[keiths]

Ok I know it isn't Friday but I just thought of this:-

Q: What's the difference between an oenophile and an unsucessful antler worker?

A: Ones a wine taster and the other is a tine waster.

Ah well, I guess that I have too much time on my hands (or is that tines on my hand).

[YAT]

and people say may jokes are bad......

(well I guess they are)

[graeme]

Keith that was excellent. That really cheered up this otherwise dull library session. Thanks.